i know

far from here but not yet there

(on top of that) without a watch

i'm lost, i'm lost

and found and

safe (but scared) and sound

that's it i'll trade

my squeaky chair for

another (even squeakier)

strangers watch strangers talk

with one another

a man with black shoes that

rival the sun in

the way that they

shine

a woman with tears in her jeans and tears

in her eyes (i wonder if her heart

is torn as well)

a boy chewing on his pen with

hope in his eyes

but (i know) that's

not how you find

the answers

a room full of faces (not

one familiar) and yet

it feels warmer than

my memories

brighter than what

i can remember (just right

now)

far dimmer (i know)

than the days

to come and

that alone (i know) is

something to

smile about

she slept heavily

she slept heavily and counted
stars and ghosts and
sheep to where you are and
preferred her wine in paper
cups [not] to hide her
wounds [but] to find
her luck she hung her
rugs up on the
wall she ran on eggshells [broke
them all] she cried and
cried and lied to
eyes that should have known
her better
+
[because] shoes are shoes and trees
are trees but hands were
meant for holding [please] the
crescent moon will
shine on you but only
if you let it
she slept heavily and counted
doors [but] she's not
counting anymore you'll
get to 10 and start
again and
never really dream
[well] lamps are lamps and
feet are feet but there's
magic in her
heart's beat the
kind that only comes
from loving and
losing and living [all]
before you fall asleep

sanibel island is far away from here

fruity pebbles and dryer sheets
cold marbled tiles beneath my feet
long day- comforter cool like water
please, can we go for a swim now?
water-colored pineapples not as sweet as
real ones+ as grandpa bakes his warm heart
into warm bread and mmm
smell the rich air full of laughter full of
love
chlorinated water adheres to every hair on
his strong& tired back, but that's
okay okay because i like it that way because
it reminds me that i'm
home i'm home and the number
two pencils and elmer's glue and
2 plus 2 equals 4 all fade
to blue
of the sky and the blue of the
gulf of mexico and the blue
i can barely find in the mirror anymore in
my eyes that have changed
to gray like all of the
memories i
have of
you

i went for a walk

i went for a walk in the rain because
i knew you'd throw spoons if you knew [never]
knives never knives but even
words become swords when you
sharpen them
properly or
add
an
s

throw away your umbrellas! throw away
your umbrellas or hide them
somewhere no one
will ever find them
somewhere far away maybe
next to that smile you
never use
anymore

because you might need air to breathe
but you don't need eyes to see
and you don't need sunshine to be a
f
L
o
w
e
r

before you close
that door you don't have
to let me inside [and]
life's not black [or] white
not sink [or] swim
but! before you close
that door you might think
to let a little
rain in

living

the coffee made me ambitious+ and the
clarity made me cry and the
music made me hopeful and the
hopeful made me lie-
and the liars made me angry- but the
honest made me laugh+ laugh
laugh until i danced out of the
room on your behalf
all the faces- made me lonely and the
lonely made me shy and your
hands were there for holding+ letting them
go made me die and now
i'm standing- where i started but
standing taller than before+ you
didn't only change the locks you
handed me+ a brand new door knock
knock knock but it won't open
knock+ knock i mean it this time
instead i think i'll get some coffee and
think up some words to rhyme

beginning to understand

the pills didn't work but
the pain didn't hurt so
i cried all the numbness away
and the heat of the sun
thawed my heart and my tongue and
reminded me that it was day
but why should i try if
one day i will die and
no one will remember my name
well my days are a gift so
the fear, i will lift and
give in to this beautiful game

hands

without them, I'd be nothing
my whole world trapped between
my brain and skull
and there is no
escape

without them, I'd be no one
no drawings of expressive eyes
no poetic lies
or music
or truth

without them, I'd be now
because they tell the
story of the past
and they hold
the future

without them, I'd be me
my story, love, and answers,
but no one else
would ever
know