i know

far from here but not yet there

(on top of that) without a watch

i'm lost, i'm lost

and found and

safe (but scared) and sound

that's it i'll trade

my squeaky chair for

another (even squeakier)

strangers watch strangers talk

with one another

a man with black shoes that

rival the sun in

the way that they

shine

a woman with tears in her jeans and tears

in her eyes (i wonder if her heart

is torn as well)

a boy chewing on his pen with

hope in his eyes

but (i know) that's

not how you find

the answers

a room full of faces (not

one familiar) and yet

it feels warmer than

my memories

brighter than what

i can remember (just right

now)

far dimmer (i know)

than the days

to come and

that alone (i know) is

something to

smile about

she slept heavily

she slept heavily and counted
stars and ghosts and
sheep to where you are and
preferred her wine in paper
cups [not] to hide her
wounds [but] to find
her luck she hung her
rugs up on the
wall she ran on eggshells [broke
them all] she cried and
cried and lied to
eyes that should have known
her better
+
[because] shoes are shoes and trees
are trees but hands were
meant for holding [please] the
crescent moon will
shine on you but only
if you let it
she slept heavily and counted
doors [but] she's not
counting anymore you'll
get to 10 and start
again and
never really dream
[well] lamps are lamps and
feet are feet but there's
magic in her
heart's beat the
kind that only comes
from loving and
losing and living [all]
before you fall asleep

sanibel island is far away from here

fruity pebbles and dryer sheets
cold marbled tiles beneath my feet
long day- comforter cool like water
please, can we go for a swim now?
water-colored pineapples not as sweet as
real ones+ as grandpa bakes his warm heart
into warm bread and mmm
smell the rich air full of laughter full of
love
chlorinated water adheres to every hair on
his strong& tired back, but that's
okay okay because i like it that way because
it reminds me that i'm
home i'm home and the number
two pencils and elmer's glue and
2 plus 2 equals 4 all fade
to blue
of the sky and the blue of the
gulf of mexico and the blue
i can barely find in the mirror anymore in
my eyes that have changed
to gray like all of the
memories i
have of
you

i went for a walk

i went for a walk in the rain because
i knew you'd throw spoons if you knew [never]
knives never knives but even
words become swords when you
sharpen them
properly or
add
an
s

throw away your umbrellas! throw away
your umbrellas or hide them
somewhere no one
will ever find them
somewhere far away maybe
next to that smile you
never use
anymore

because you might need air to breathe
but you don't need eyes to see
and you don't need sunshine to be a
f
L
o
w
e
r

before you close
that door you don't have
to let me inside [and]
life's not black [or] white
not sink [or] swim
but! before you close
that door you might think
to let a little
rain in

living

the coffee made me ambitious+ and the
clarity made me cry and the
music made me hopeful and the
hopeful made me lie-
and the liars made me angry- but the
honest made me laugh+ laugh
laugh until i danced out of the
room on your behalf
all the faces- made me lonely and the
lonely made me shy and your
hands were there for holding+ letting them
go made me die and now
i'm standing- where i started but
standing taller than before+ you
didn't only change the locks you
handed me+ a brand new door knock
knock knock but it won't open
knock+ knock i mean it this time
instead i think i'll get some coffee and
think up some words to rhyme

beginning to understand

the pills didn't work but
the pain didn't hurt so
i cried all the numbness away
and the heat of the sun
thawed my heart and my tongue and
reminded me that it was day
but why should i try if
one day i will die and
no one will remember my name
well my days are a gift so
the fear, i will lift and
give in to this beautiful game

hands

without them, I'd be nothing
my whole world trapped between
my brain and skull
and there is no
escape

without them, I'd be no one
no drawings of expressive eyes
no poetic lies
or music
or truth

without them, I'd be now
because they tell the
story of the past
and they hold
the future

without them, I'd be me
my story, love, and answers,
but no one else
would ever
know

Fear is a friend who's misunderstood.

love story

in the morning, he swallowed the sunshine,
and lit up like a light
in the evening, he caught falling stars on his tongue,
and she feared they obstructed his sight,
because seven of every ten stars, she said,
got lost somewhere in his eyes
they shone every day, right into the next,
not even a frown could disguise

he ate soap and water for breakfast,
and rubbed oatmeal through his hair
he took deep breaths of fire,
and lit scented candles with air
she wondered about the sparkling stars
and where the other three were
on the day she found out they were kept in his heart,
he gave all three to her

in the morning, she folded her blanket
and arranged pillows on her bed
in the evening, she followed the stars in his eyes,
and held on to each word that he said
she ate oatmeal for breakfast,
ran soap and water through her hair
she breathed in the world around her,
for her heart, she hoped he would care

he wasn’t what she had expected,
his methods were none like she knew,
but on the first day that she met him,
she said, “I’d give up my old ways for you”

just as well

old men will die
granddaughters cry
son-in-laws sigh
and nothing's changed

candles are lit
but people quit
when words don't fit
as they're arranged

heart like a drum
beats quickly from
the way I've come
to hear you tell

familiar lies
to my surprise
familiar ties
break just as well

troubles unplanned
unclench your hand
to understand
hands carry more

than pain and hate
they can hold weight
of love and fate
by which you swore

old men will die
granddaughters cry
son-in-laws sigh
it's all the same

so it's okay
to turn away
when asked to play
this endless game

heavy

troubles so heavy,
my shoulders can't bear,
and I'm trying to breathe,
but there's smoke in the air,
and I'm crying of laughter,
tearing at the seams,
when reality lives
in my loneliest dreams

I'm singing until
the monsters disappear,
but he's shouting so loudly,
he brings back the fear
I'm afraid I'm forgetting
her eyes when she smiled,
I'm afraid if I close mine,
my thoughts will run wild

his kindest intentions
began out of greed,
he gives me all he has,
but has nothing i need,
it gets painfully lonely
in these broken days,
and there is no solution
to this broken maze

breathing afternoon air,
and it's starting to rain,
I begin to remember
the beauty in pain,
it takes tragic beginnings
and heartbreak to know
that without any rain,
nothing ever could grow

and life's what we make it,
we're what life makes us,
when we're kicked in the dirt,
we rise up from the dust,
all we have is each other
in these fleeting days,
and all that matters
is the role love plays

troubles so heavy,
but someday I'll meet
someone to take my hand,
help me back on my feet,
it gets painfully lonely,
but at least I know
I can trust that I'll see
the sun rise tomorrow